Irritated 1.11.18

I put the date in this post because at some point I'll probably write another post and want to call it Irritated.  With a date there is no confusion.

This is a bit of a vent, but I'm tired, irritated, miffed, sad, and overwhelmed.  Words starting going through my head and I always find it best just to write them all down.   So here is my vent.

I volunteer with a number of different organizations.  They are things that interest me or benefit my kids, which is why I do it.  At one point I was doing a lot of volunteering, and a lot of volunteer work.  Over the past year or so my life became a lot busier.  My business is growing, my kids have activities I need to transport them to/from, and I started doing a few things just for me.  Like walking and hiking.  And I began to read more.  It's really helped my stress levels.

Because I'm busier I asked some fellow volunteers to help out more so I could do a little less.  Not huge things, but to help share the load.  But what's happened is that folks say they'll step up, or do something, or plan, or attend - and then they don't.  Which brings me to today.

I have a thing tomorrow, a person planning part of it emails today that they can't figure out what they are supposed to do and not sure they have time now.  I don't have a ton of time either for the part I'm planning, but I have all my stuff out ready to get it organized today.   I can't do their part too.

A person was supposed to attend a meeting last night on behalf of our organization.  These meetings are only a few times a year and I usually attend, but I had a conflict I could not move.  In the notes I received today I see our organization was not represented at the meeting, the person did not go.

At one of the places I work we are supposed to share responsibilities, and over the last few months I've had to do all of them, which means I'm arriving earlier and staying later to get it all done.

I'm sad because I try really hard to follow through on anything I do.  And I'm honestly feeling dumped on.  No one else is following through because they think I'll do it.  And I'm guilty for setting up that impression because I've always come through at the last minute and done it. 

I'm overwhelmed because I'm moving my office, making changes to meet requirements and price increases for the programs I teach, following a new plan to grow my businesses, working a lot more hours, taking care of my family, and still volunteering.  I'm asking folks to pick up part of the load because I'm doing over 90% of it now and I would like to slow down to 50%.  I'm happy to do my share, but I can't do everything anymore.  I get that others have work and business needs pulling on them too - but so do I.

I'm irritated because I was going to post a quick vent on Facebook, but then I remembered that the last few times I did I received calls from someone who takes my vents personally and chastises me for them.  So I can no longer vent on Facebook.  This is my blog and hopefully they won't take the time to read it.

I'm miffed because no matter what I say or do to try to resolve this, someone is going to be angry at me or try to make me feel guilty about it.  I'm skipping things I want to do because there is just not enough time.

I'm tired because I have a lot to work on and do, and now I need to get this extra stuff done. I have things I want to do at home and I just don't have the time or energy to do them right now.

Vent over.  I have to plan for tomorrow, prep for today's class, and reply to the discussion last night.

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