Tuesday, June 14, 2016

Never good enough

No matter what I say or do, it is not the right thing.

I know no one reads my blogs, but I enjoy them. Even if I don't write as often as I should.

Tonight I am just sad.  I never seem to have the right words, or am not completely present when others expect me to be there.  I don't do enough, but I'm always exhausted trying to keep up.  I start to wonder why I continue to try, but then something else pops up that I need to do.  So no time to think.

Time to sleep, my day starts so early and ends so late.  What I do is often not enough.  Struggling to do more in the small space of time each day allows.  But it never seems good enough for those who judge by what I do not by the intent behind it.

I just need a few hours to sleep so I can start each day over again and hopefully do better.  I know it will never be good enough for those with super high standards that I will never reach.  But I will try.

Sunday, June 5, 2016

Sudden change of schedule

Sometimes life throws you a curveball.


Friday night I get a few texts and a phone call.  My mom is in the hospital, and it does not look good.  Can I come down right away?

I have a class scheduled for Saturday.  Granted it is a small class, but I have students who have paid for a course.  I am a Training Site of 1.  I do not have a backup instructor.

I spent part of Saturday's class checking my phone.  Surgery scheduled for Tuesday.  I have classes Sunday, Monday, & Tuesday.  I start emailing all my students.  Sunday's class for a Girl Scout troop will be rescheduled.  Tuesday's class rescheduled.  I finish my class, run home for dinner, and hit the road.  She's been transferred to a hospital about an hour & a half away.

This is cancer.  It is huge.  She is in a lot of pain.

The challenge with being self-employed is I can't call in sick.  When I have to reschedule classes it impacts more than just me.  Tuesday's students are rescheduled for 2 different days.  My schedule will be in flux this week.  On top of my class schedule is my daughter's upcoming graduation, a Girl Scout camporee and a graduation party.  It's a lot of overwhelm.

I'll be doing my best to keep up.

Sunday, April 17, 2016

Blog neglect

I love having a blog, I love writing.  The challenge is that lately I have less and less time to write.

I own 2 small businesses. When things get busy some things get pushed to the side.  Writing in my blogs is one of them.

Last October the 2015 Guidelines for CPR & First Aid were released.  Shortly thereafter a price increase for training materials was announced.

Since then I have been taking instructor update courses and preparing for a price increase in my courses.  I've also been teaching and awful lot.  Awful lot is my term for, well... quite a few classes.  It's my generic term for, well, quite a few or an awful lot, of classes on my schedule.  You see, in addition to my community courses, I teach courses for businesses and organizations.  I've been traveling quite a bit the past few months and next month is shaping up to be just as busy.

What this means is my blogs get neglected. :(  For example, I started this post 2 days ago, and 2 days later I'm finally finishing it.

What I need to do is schedule writing time into my weekly schedule so that I do not continue to neglect my blogs.


Tuesday, March 15, 2016

Beware the Ides of March

Every March 15th we say this.  This morning I was wondering... what exactly does Ides mean?  What is an Ide?  Or is the singular Ides?  I think it means something like mid or middle... Inquiring minds want to know.

So I looked it up.  Google is always a good friend when I'm curious about something.

According to Dictionary.com, Ides comes from the Latin word idus, roughly marking the 15th day of March, July & October and the 13th day of the other months of the year.  It's the halfway point of each month.  

The Ides of March is a metaphor for impending doom.  Julius Caeser ignored the warning "Beware the Ides of March" and was stabbed in the back on March 15, 44 BC - also giving us the term backstabber.

This is just my summarized version, use the link above to read the full explanation.


Friday, February 5, 2016

Spinning in circles

I think we all start the new year off with resolutions, goals or just really good intentions.  And then, well, life just gets in the way.

One of my 2016 goals was to blog more.  And well, you can see where I'm at with that.

Part of my excuse is that I am currently spinning in circles.  I came down with a mild head cold in early January.  I laid low, rested, drank fluids, and was back at full steam in just a few days.  But I also jumped right into a new exercise routine, got busy, forgot to keep up with the fluids... and relapsed into a miserable head and chest cold that lasted almost a week.  I can't think clearly when I'm sick so a lot of things did not get done. But enough about my whining.

At this exact moment, I am sitting at my computer, it's snowing outside, the littles are up and we have our first snow day of the school year.  I'm not subbing because of the snow day.  Good day to get caught up on blogging right?  Except I'm still spinning in circles.  I have so many tasks to catch up on that I've been in squirrel project mode jumping from one to the other trying to move them forward.... and not completing anything.  {sigh}

The snow day is a blessing and a curse.  I'm home for the day with the kids.  Home to work, but also taking care of 4 kids who also need my attention.  I'm thinking this might turn into an I do not have enough coffee in this house type of day.